Columbus, OH

http://www.tgender.net/cc

Vol. 12, No.3 - March 2000

Current Officers

President - Kelly
Vice President - Carey
Treasurer - Dianna Mills
Secretary - Diana Brit
Newsletter Editors - Kelly & Jannie
Meeting Coordinator - Latoya
Internet Screening Officer - Judy
Telephone Screening Officer - Tina
Web Mistress - Mary Ann
Assistants - Jannie & Anne
Librarian - Tina

Index to March 2000 Issue

Elections this month

It may not be as big as this year's presidential race, but the excitement is still there. The membership decided to hold off on the elections until March due to the late entry of Diana Brit, who is also running for President of the Crystal Club. This was done to insure everyone knew about the change and had a chance to vote. Here is a list of the members who will be running for office this month:

President - Kelly or Diana B
VP - Open
Treasure
r - Dianna Mills
Secretary - Open
Newsletter Editor - Kelly and Jannie
Meeting Coordinator - Julie and Cheri
Screening Officers
     Internet - Judy
     Phone - Tina
Web Mistress - Mary Ann, Jannie, and Anne
Librarian - Tina

As you can see, we are still looking for a Vice President, a Secretary, and another Newsletter editor. The Vice Presidentís duties include assisting the president whenever she is needed but as long as the President stays on top of things there isnít much to do. The Secretaryís duties are to attend the regular meetings, take notes of the proceedings, and submit a report to the newsletter editors. The newsletter editor position requires a lot of work but if we get a third editor, you would only have to do a newsletter once every three months. If you are interested in any of these positions please email Kelly Davidson at Kelly@tgender.net.

Absentee voting

If you are unable to attend the March meeting but still wish to vote, you can do so by sending an email message to Jannie at jannie@tgender.net. All ballots will be kept confidential. To vote, you must be a member in good standing (dues paid for the year 2000), or someone who's membership recently expired but plans to renew their membership this month. If you fall into the second category, you must contact Dianna Mills or myself before the March meeting, so you can vote.

 

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My Goals for the Year 2000

by Kelly Davidson

Since I took over as president last August, I have been busy trying to secure a permanent meeting place for the Crystal Club. This has involved countless long-distance phone calls, as well as taking two days off from work to look for places. All my time has been spent trying to accomplish this, leaving very little time to accomplish anything else. With this solution now finally in sight, here are my goals as president for the year 2000, if I am re-elected.

1. Newsletter -- I would like to establish an e-mail distribution list for the newsletter which would substantially cut copying and postage costs. I would recommend that those who receive their newsletter on-line should have their yearly membership dues decreased from $42/year to $24/year. I would work with the treasurer to establish a refund for those who have already paid for the current year.

2. Meeting Location -- While Lewis Center is an acceptable meeting place, I would like to find another location closer to downtown Columbus. First, I would like to survey members to find out their feelings on this matter. If the members would like us to find another location, then we will keep searching until something else is found. There were several suggestions made at the last meeting.

3. Dues -- Until we can establish a permanent location, I have no plans to lower the $42 per year annual dues except as noted above. I would rather keep dues where they are and lower them later if possible, than lower them now only to find we have to raise them to cover the costs of the new location. If the membership does decide to keep Lewis Center as a permanent site, I would be willing to work with the other officers on reducing the dues to a fair amount.

4. Big Sister program - A couple of years ago I suggested and helped implement a system where all new members were greeted and introduced to the other members by a designated greeter. Certainly this wasnít a new idea, but it was a good idea which has unfortunately not been implemented in the past year. I would like to reinstate it so new members would have someone to talk to and be with for their first meeting.

5. Business Meetings -- I would like to reduce the number of in-person business meetings by trying out a new idea. Business meetings would be conducted throughout the month by e-mail on a separate list. Actual in-person business meetings would occur only every other month on the second Friday at our normal location. The Fridayís that we do not meet would be used as a social/screening meeting.

6. Phone -- Currently, I am working with Mary Ann on getting a cell phone which will allow us to forward calls to another number. The advantage of doing this is whenever the club switches phone screening officers, we can forward it to the new officerís number, thus not having to change the Crystal Club phone number every couple of years. This plan will go a long way in stabilizing the contacting process for new members.

7. Regular meetings -- Planning events each month has been a weak area in my leadership. This can be contributed to the fact that each month I have spent my free time searching for a permanent location for the club to meet at. However, the Picnic and December party are both examples of long-term planning on the part of the officers and myself. With the help of others, I feel this area can be improved on. Some of you have already talked to me about future events, and I thank you for doing this.

These are my goals for the year 2000, everyone. Since this is your club, I want to continue getting as many of you involved in the day to day decision making so it remains that way. I seek and welcome your support for re-election as president of the Crystal Club for the year 2000. Thank you.

Kelly Davidson

 

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ACTION PLAN for CRYSTAL CLUB 2000

by Diana Brit

I seek your support for the presidency of Crystal Club. I am running for this office because I have a specific vision plan for the club. I am not running AGAINST anyone; I am running FOR everyone.

In the year 2000 I would like to achieve the following:

1. STRENGTHEN THE MEMBERSHIP: For varied reasons too numerous to mention here, our core membership ebbs and flows. With the aid of other members, I propose we examine ways we can retain our members and attract new ones. I would appoint a study group to get this accomplished.

2. PLAN MEANINGFUL PROGRAMS: One way to attract old and new members to our meetings is to schedule our programs well in advance. I believe this adds stability to our organization. I already have put this plan into action for 2000, with programs scheduled now into the summer. I intend to work with the membership to complete, by May 1, the program schedule for the entire year.

3. ESTABLISH SOUND FISCAL POLICIES: I believe the membership deserves a treasurer's report at each and every meeting. Only in this way can the entire membership make informed decisions on the club's activities and direction.

4. RESTRUCTURE THE DUES AND FEES: I intend to ask the Treasurer to form a committee to study our annual dues and meeting fees. The goal would be (a.) to reduce them and (b.) make them more democratic.

5. ENSURE SUPPORT FOR MEMBERS: I want every member - and particularly our newcomers - to know that at every meeting, one-on-one or group support is available to them through our senior members.

6. REVAMP THE CRYSTAL CHRONICLE: The newsletter is our most expensive activity, but I believe we can reduce our costs considerably. I intend to work with the Editors to see that this is accomplished without sacrificing the service the Crystal Chronicle provides the membership. Also, I intend to see that the Crystal Chronicle gets back online.

7. REALIGN MEETINGS OF OFFICERS: I propose that an open meeting of officers be held monthly one (1) hour prior to the general membership meeting. This could reduce the amount of time officers are required to spend serving the club and enable a greater number of members to run for office.

I seek, and welcome, your support for the presidency of Crystal Club. Thank you.

 

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Editorís Notes

by Kelly Davidson

When I became the newsletter editor more than two years ago, I was faced with two difficult problems. One was revamping the newsletter so it no longer reflected the opinions of just a couple of members. The second was to make sure the Crystal Club membership received the newsletter a reasonable amount of time before the meeting. In a few short months, I was able to accomplish both goals by 1) constantly asking (harassing? <grin>) members to submit articles for the newsletter and 2) setting a deadline to submit articles to me no later than the end of each month.

During my time as the editor, I have experimented with the layout and print of the newsletter to see which looked best. What you are reading today is a result of two years of experience in doing the Crystal Chronicle. While the newsletter may not be perfect, it's still much better today (content wise) than before I took over.

So, when I read Dianaís Brits plan of action regarding the newsletter, I was somewhat offended by her suggestion that the Crystal Chronicle needed to be revamped somehow (although I know it wasnít a personal attack on me). In my opinion, the newsletter is not in need of a major overhaul and is a far cry from where it was when I took over. At that time, members didnít even bother opening the newsletter to read it, they instead opted to simply throw it in the trash.

But even if this was the case and there were some major changes needing to be made, these problems should fall on the shoulders of the newsletter editor, not the president. Itís the editorís responsibility to make any changes that need to be made. This is why my name (and Jannieís) are on the newsletter each month and not someone elseís. This is why I was voted into the position.

In the past I have welcomed your suggestions to improve on the quality of the newsletter. Some of these suggestions have been very good and I have used them. Others didnít fit into what I was trying to accomplish, and so were not used. Itís a judgment call, but in the end I have to do what I feel is right. This freedom to decide allows me to grow and produce a newsletter I am comfortable with. In many ways, setting up the newsletter is a labor of love, even if it can be a pain in the butt to create every other month.

In the future I will continue to welcome any suggestions you may have with the following understanding; I have the right not to use your suggestions if I feel it doesnít fit in with what I am trying to produce. Generally this doesnít happen very often, anyway.

Next month I hope to pass out a survey regarding the newsletter. In it, I will be asking you a number of questions to see how what you think about the newsletter (likes and dislikes) and how you feel it can be improved. Any suggestion you have will be welcome.

I want to thank all of you for the support you have shown me so far. This is your voice in the club, so let it be heard by sending me an article.

Kelly Davidson

 

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February Meeting Notes

The 22 members and guests who attended the February 26 meeting enjoyed a hair-raising experience. Actually it would be more accurate to say "wig-raising experience," for our speaker was Kim Johnston, owner of Kim's Wig Fashions Ltd. of Columbus. She brought with her a number of wig-care products and a variety of wig styles "which can change your image," she said.

Wig choice -- from style, length and color -- is such a personal choice that she said she only guides customers through the selection process rather than recommending one over another. However, she advised against natural hair wigs unless the wearer is prepared to spend the time to properly care for it as you would your own hair.

Synthetic wigs, which can run up into several hundred dollars, are much easier to maintain and can be brushed, or teased, into different styles. The better ones are hand-woven and often require thinning because the manufacturer makes the wig thicker than most natural heads of hair. "It needs to be thinned and shaped so it doesn't look 'wiggy,'" she said. Also, synthetic wigs can be colored, but only to a darker shade, never to a lighter one.

Kim recommended shampoo and conditioner specifically made for synthetic wigs, which should be allowed to dry naturally, without combing or brushing and away from heat, such as a curling iron. And unless the wig is worn daily and in a dirty environment, it is not necessary to shampoo it more than once every three months or so. Although she admitted that she was sometimes confused when a man came into her shop seeking a ladyís wig, she said the meeting was an education for her as well, one that would enable her to better serve Crystal Club members.

During the business session, Mary Ann discussed her willingness to fund one club member for a series of Diode Laser treatments. The details of this program were included in the newsletter last month. She also sought signatures on a Declaration of Harmony for the TG community, provided an email address for voice training, and discussed the resumption of Thursday gatherings at the No Attitude restaurant on Parsons Blvd.

The election of all officers was postponed until the March meeting, to allow members to consider the candidacy for president of Diana Brit, who was nominated to the post at the meeting. Her reasons for seeking the presidency are detailed elsewhere in this newsletter. Two newcomers, L. Michelle and Janette, attended the meeting. Also in attendance were: Christine, Kay, JulieAnn and Cheri, Tina and her Spouse, Kelly, Judy, Kristen, Adrianne, Mary Ann, Renee and Ann, Pam, Anne, Michelle H., Rikki, Jannie, Kim and Diana.

At the March 22 meeting, there will be a special screening of "Just Like a Woman," a first-rate British movie about a transvestite. This is NOT a pornographic film. It has an outstanding cast, and the crossdressing issue is treated with great tenderness and understanding. You won't want to miss this film classic!

 

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TS Woman Attacked in Kent, OH

Received by Gwendolyn Ann Smith

Editorís notes: Below is an email message that came to me over the CC on-line account. Itís a reminder that the world is still very dangerous and we need to be careful. Here is the full story the way I received it.

Jordana LaSesne, better known in electronica circles as "1.8.7.," was severely beaten following a performance in Kent, Ohio, on February 22.

LaSesne was DJing that evening at an event called "Epiphany" at the Robin Hood club. On her way to the hotel after the show, she was assaulted, being punched in the face with so much force that she was knocked to the ground. Her assailant then continued to throw punches, and LaSesne blacked out. Her promoter, Chris Graves, and another individual chased this person off after he attempted to stomp on her.

According to one report, there were other individuals parked in a truck in the area who claimed to be armed, and were planning to cause her further damage. It is likely that such individuals were working in tandem with the first assailant. Further, an anonymous source familiar with these individuals claims that the group had planned to "kill him and leave him there in the street."

Police did not arrest the suspect in the beating, Matthew W. Gostlen, but instead will serve him a summons to appear in court. Only if he ignores the summons will they issue a warrant for his arrest.

LaSesne survived the attack, but has suffered a broken nose and jaw, and has canceled all of her remaining tour dates. She is also contemplating an end to her career as a DJ and recording artist, citing that her "spirit is broken," and that she no longer feels safe or protected. [Editorís Notes: She has since changed her mind about early retirement. See her web page (address below) for her statement about the attack.]

She publicly transitioned in the electronica scene, and put out "sooper extra thanks" her second full-length album, "Quality Rolls," to all who expressed their support to her during her transition.

Her web site is at http://www.jordana.co.uk/

 

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A Call for help
JUDGE DENIES TRANSSEXUAL FAIR TREATMENT

from GAIN

Dee Farmer has spent the past 13 years in federal prison, paying the price of her involvement in fraudulent use of stolen credit cards. Now released by the federal prison system, she has served more than her share of time for a non-violent crime. But if a Baltimore judge has his way, sheíll spend another 30 years in state prison, paying for the crime of being different.

Dee Farmer is an African American transsexual who has been in federal prison since 1985. She was convicted of writing bad checks and credit card fraud, with damages totaling $500,000. She was sentenced, by residing Judge Joseph Murphy on federal charges, to 20 years in prison, and on state charges to 30 years, both sentences to run concurrently.

Later, though, Murphy changed his mind when, during Deeís initial incarceration in Baltimore, a prison guard was arrested for smuggled drugs to her. Murphy, incensed over this occurrence, blamed Dee, and changed her time served to consecutive sentences ≠ without notifying either Dee or her attorneys. Judge Murphy claims that he never said her sentences were to run concurrent, despite the fact that Dee and her attorneys have proof in writing. Murphy did, however, say that if she proved herself in federal prison, that he would review her case and perhaps amend her sentence. But he also said that she was incorrigible and couldn't be helped.

At the time of her arrest, Dee had been living as a woman. Once incarcerated in Baltimore MD, she was denied any medication, including hormones. During her first year of jail she was put in lock up, which is similar to isolation. She was also diagnosed with HIV, and subsequently denied medication for her illness. She was transferred to a minimum security prison in Wisconsin, during which time the warden cited Dee repeatedly for dressing in a feminine manner, such as wearing her shirt off her shoulder. Each citation added points, and therefore time, to her sentence.

Because of her repeated gender transgressions, and despite knowledge of her transsexualism and the potential danger she would face because of it, the warden transferred her to a maximum security prison in Terrehaut, IN. Within a week of arriving there, she was beaten and raped at knife point by other inmates. Pictures were taken of her bruised and beaten face, but charges were never filed and no arrests were ever made. One of the responsible inmates spent some time in lock up, while Dee was placed in solitary confinement for a year, essentially punishing her for being raped and for being a transsexual. Dee was finally transferred to a medical facility in Springfield, MO, where she was able to obtain psychotherapy for the first time in her life. While there, she was advised to file suit against the system that had caused her victimization.

Dee filed suit in Wisconsin against the prison system for reckless behavior in transferring her to a maximum security facility. The suit stated that they were careless to put her in a dangerous environment knowing that, as a transsexual, she would be subjected to violent harassment. After a long battle and repeated appeals, the Supreme Court decided in agreement with Dee, that her transsexual status should be considered, and that it was indeed reckless to ignore the potential dangers to her arising from her transsexualism in transferring her. But unfortunately, after the supreme court ruling, years passed before it went back to the lower court for trial, evidence had been lost and her court appointed attorney was anything but effective. The suit was eventually dismissed.

She stayed in the medical facility until early 1994 when she was transferred again to a minimum security facility. After a year there, she was put in lock down when another inmate (an informant) claimed that Dee and another inmate were involved in sexual relations. This is strictly forbidden in HIV infected individuals and is usually met with extreme punishment, including being placed in segregation (solitary confinement) indefinitely. So Dee was placed in solitary confinement on the word of another inmate, without investigation or appeal, and stayed there until 1999 ≠ 4 years.

During her time in isolation, Dee filed many appeals to judge Murphy to review her sentence. She could not be paroled from federal prison as long as judge Murphy held the detainer on her in Maryland. Again, though, her appeal failed. All during her stay in prison she has been denied treatment for her transsexualism, and treatment for HIV has also been withheld. Presently she is in Maryland after being released from the federal jurisdiction with many letters and certificates for good behavior, as well as 800 days of good time. Their recommendation is that Dee is not a threat to society and would be able to function in a meaningful way outside of prison, and should be released. Dee has written to judge Murphy repeatedly with no response. Now serving on the special court of appeals, Murphy still holds authority over Deeís case.

In 1990, Dee and Judy Greenspan started the prisoner project that helps other inmates around the country to know their rights with respect to getting HIV medication as well as what to do if you are transgender. In this effort, Dee has published two booklets.

We are concerned that judge Murphy will continue to keep Dee Farmer incarcerated beyond all reasonable punishment for her crime, for no good reason. He has stated in the past that, regardless of how much time Dee serves in federal prison, she will "serve time in my jail."

We call on all persons concerned about basic human rights for transpersons to get involved and let this judge know that we as a community care about what happens to transpersons in our penal system. Help us inform Judge Murphy of the basic humanity of transpersons. Help us turn the tide of extreme mistreatment of transpersons in our penal system. We cannot stand by and watch as De Farmer is kept in jail, not for what she did, but for who she is and what she stands for. Please join with us in urging judge Murphy to order Dee to be released from incarceration immediately. She has served more than her share of time.

You can write to judge Murphy at: 
Baltimore County Circuit Court 
Judge Murphy 
401 Bosley Avenue 
Towsen, MD 21204

You can add your name to an email list by sending email to Nancy@gendertalk.com

 

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London: Girl Wins Right to Wear Trousers to School

received from Mary Ann Horton

LONDON (Reuters) - A British schoolgirl has won an out-of-court settlement against her school in a two-year tussle to wear trousers instead of skirts to classes.

Jo Hale, 14, and her mother Clare began legal action against Whickham Comprehensive School in Gateshead, northern England, after it refused to change a strict dress code insisting on skirts even during Britain's cold winter months.

"Now I will be glad to put this all behind me and get on with my school work," said Jo.

"After all, if you're in class and doing your work, then what does it matter if you're wearing trousers?"

The school said it had agreed "reluctantly" to let Jo wear trousers because it faced possible legal bills of up to 50,000 pounds ($80,000) if the case went to court.

 

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Clarke Thomas: At Cross Purposes 
Transgendered People Do Not Suffer Society's Scorn Just for a Whim

received from GAIN

"Why? Why? Why? That's the question we keep asking ourselves." That muted cry from a handsome businessman across the luncheon table from me wasn't some offhand expression of frustration. The speaker was an example of a singularity in our society - a transvestite or cross-dresser, as these persons prefer to call themselves.

He and men and women like him yearn to dress in the clothing of the opposite sex. In fear for their jobs or relations with their families, usually they do so at home in private or at club gatherings. Some men may wear women's underclothing even to work. Many are heterosexual, not gay or lesbian, and married. That puts these cross-dressers in an anomalous position not just with the heterosexual world but also with gays and lesbians and transsexuals (those surgically changing their gender).

But recently, in Pittsburgh at least, the groups have begun coordinating their efforts, realizing how much in common they have in combating prejudice.

In extensive conversations with members of transgender groups, one learns how long and painful the process has been for recognizing their particular uniqueness, accepting it or doing something about it. For most, the answer to the "why? why? why?" question facing them, relatives and a skeptical public is "biology" or "genetics."

That is, for some reason, destiny has put into the body of a man the characteristics of a female and vice versa for a woman. There comes a realization that their situation is a given, just as color is for African Americans.

One has only to listen to the life stories of transgendered people and realize the pain and questioning, the hatred and prejudice they have gone through to accept this outburst from one: "Why would anyone go through this hell just on a whim?" Attempted suicides, shunning by their families, divorces, firings, verbal and even physical assaults are the woes that come pouring out.

That brings us to transsexuals. These are the men and women going through a long process, including costly surgery, to change their sex. Again, there are stories of years of anguish, starting in childhood when a boy might be told he was heading for "eternity in hellfire" for wanting to wear dresses. One male-to-female told of serving in the armed forces, engaging in sports, marrying - "all of the things you do to prove you are masculine. It just didn't work."

Choosing to go transsexual is not something one does lightly. First, there must be at least three months of therapy in which the therapist intensely probes the reasons for the choice to make sure they are for real. Locally, that therapy can be obtained at the Persad Center in Bloomfield.

If that approval is obtained, the candidate must undertake a "real life test" of at least one year.

That means that a man must begin dressing and living the life of a woman - at work, with family.

He may be fired, face divorce or rebuffs from parents ("What did we do wrong?") and public prejudice. A legal change of name also is involved.

Persad has services available to work with employers in such situations. If top management agrees, things usually can go smoothly - that is, other employees will go along if the company policy is clear.

What about going to the restroom? "That always comes up," one male-to-female said. "Most of us avoid a restroom like a plague because we are afraid of the reaction of others, even though with stalls there should be no difficulty. But you don't want to face someone becoming hysterical about it."

During all this period, male-to-female people are taking hormone treatments to accentuate feminine characteristics and electrolysis treatments to eliminate body hair. "Let me tell you that you have to be serious about it to go through the pain of 200 hours of that treatment in your bodily pores," said one. Women changing to men undergo hormone treatments to suppress their breasts and to grow beards. Hormonal treatments, starting at $100 a month, must be continued for life. At any point, the gatekeeper therapists can halt the process. After the year-long "real life test," if the therapist agrees, the candidate can go for surgery by a plastic surgeon. It can be done locally, but many prefer to go elsewhere, with Montreal especially popular.

I got estimates as high as $11,000 for surgery and $15,000 for electrolysis, meaning $50,000 for the entire male-to-female process. The female-to-male process generally costs less, closer to $30,000.

Clearly, no one spends that much money lightly. Why? why? why?

Peace of mind, say people in these categories - becoming the gender that their urgings, their pain all along told them was their destiny. Divorce frequently follows, but it's not always the case. And in many instances, good relations continue with ex-spouses.

The cross-dresser with whom I had lunch said that many wives of cross-dressers report that acquiescing to a husband's penchants releases tensions in his life and in the home. Relations with some relatives can be more difficult. On the brighter side here, Transpitt was organized in 1983 for transvestites/cross-dressers, male-to-females and female-to-males, with about 70 members (of an estimated 500 in Allegheny County). Moreover, the transsexuals have also formed their own much smaller group.

Pittsburgh's 1990 city ordinance outlawing discrimination on the basis of sexual preference has been expanded to cover transgendered people. "But you aren't protected if you go outside the city limits of Pittsburgh," one transsexual lamented. Pittsburgh police and EMS personnel are praised for sympathetic care in two recent affairs involving cross-dressers - one the treatment of a vehicle accident victim; the other a carload of out-of-towners unwittingly driving on the East Busway.

And in the past two years, all the groups, including gays and lesbians, have begun coordinating endeavors, such as launching a diversity project to promote education and justice efforts. For each group, this has meant overcoming elements of prejudice toward the others. Example: Two years ago the Gay & Lesbian Community Club began accepting transgendered people as members.

I suggest that the larger community and particularly religious leaders need to enlarge their anti-discrimination focus.

Beyond the anger expressed in many of my interviews, I recall especially the poignancy of my cross-dresser luncheon companion, whose eyes misted as he said: "I served for years in a war [Vietnam] with which I didn't necessarily agree, but I wanted to do my duty for my country. And now I find that the Constitution doesn't protect my rights."

Clarke Thomas is a Post-Gazette senior editor.

 

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Priest Undergoes Sex Change

Received from GAIN

A Roman Catholic priest in upstate New York is undergoing a sex change, the first American priest ever to do so, the New York Post reports. Father Dennis Brennan, pastor of St. Margaret of Cortona Roman Catholic Church in the Albany diocese, sent a letter to parishioners revealing that he had been diagnosed with "gender dysphoria." "It was never a matter of choice," Brennan wrote. "I had always been conscious of my inner female gender, although I had managed to hide or bury it." Brennan, a priest for 33 years, said in the letter that he had begun living as a woman and would eventually undergo gender-reassignment surgery.

The move has stunned parishioners and the church hierarchy. "Dennis Brennan was a very conservative guy who I always considered to be very much from the world of the Ďtight conceptí about what the priesthood was about," an unnamed priest told the Post, which also quoted a parishioner of Brennanís as saying the priest is "a disgrace." Albany bishop Howard Hubbard said that the diocese opposes Brennanís decision. Brennan has left the active ministry and has applied to leave the priesthood entirely. The paper noted that Brennan, who now calls himself Denise, can be seen around the area wearing a dress, a white wig, and womenís jewelry.

 

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I, My Sister 
Jenniferís Beginnings 

by Kelly Davidson

Chapter 18 - The End of Innocence

The party was fun, at least for Gerald. Through out the night his friends kept coming up and asking where he had found such a "dish." Jennifer, under Gerald's insistence, ended up dancing with most of them, but at midnight she wound up in Gerald's arms.

"I guess it's that time, Jennifer." Gerald said with a sly smile.

Al/Jennifer was beside herself. On the inside she was yelling, "Don't you dare kiss me you a**hole. Don't even think about it." But on the outside all she could to do was blush and prepare for what was to come.

"I guess so, Tiger." she replied back in a warm, sexy voice. Gerald reached down and kissed her. Al/Jennifer turned sick inside. Her body on the outside reacted in a very pleasant and normal way while inside she fought to stop the reaction. It was then that all her young hormones began to kick in and the excitement started to build inside her. Finally, they both came up for air.

"Come on, Jennifer. Let's start off the New Year right." Gerald bid good-bye to his friends and quickly pulled her out the door.

*********************************

Jennifer looked out at the dark world from her window. Somehow staring into the darkness made her feel better. Her body was still shaking from the sexual experience a little while ago but inside her, true feeling raged.

How could he had done this to her? How could he have violated her wishes and taken advantage of her body while knowing her true feelings of not wanting to have sex with him. And the worst part of all this was, her body had enjoyed every minute of it. Just thinking of the experience caused shivers to go up and down her spine in anticipation.

Gerald had been tired out from their moment of passion and was snoring soundly in her bed. But Jennifer's body could have gone on all night and was wishing for more. Inside she felt ill and numb. Was this what it was like to be raped? To have every ounce of dignity, every shed of self-respect striped away from you. Jennifer couldn't even look at herself in the mirror, she was too ashamed. She had enjoyed it, every damn minute of it and even now found herself wanting more. And because of that, she hated him more than ever.

"One day I will pay you back you bastard. One day."

*******************************

Sarah was driving back from the airport in a very pleasant mood. Her New Yearís Eve date had been very satisfying and she felt like a totally new woman. Tomorrow, she would have to go back to work, but today she dwelled on the previous events.

"God, he made me feel so good." Sarah said to herself. All her previous stress had been left at the resort. She was ready to start this new year off right.

Seeing Susan had also cheered her up. Sarah didn't have many close friends, her work just didn't allow it. But being around Susan made her realize how great it was to talk and laugh with another woman. The two of them were so much alike. Now that Susan was moving to San Diego, it would be easier for Sarah to get away and visit her on the weekends. Maybe they could double date again, just like in the old days. Sarah pulled the car into the garage and walked inside her house.

"Hello, Doctor," Gerald said to her, "how was your trip?" It was fine, Gerald." Sarah didn't see a need to tell him the fine details. She noticed Jennifer wasn't there to greet her and Gerald seemed to be acting very strangely.

"Where is Jennifer?" she inquired.

"In the exercise room, working out." A small smiled began to appear on his face. Sarah became more suspicious. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore.

"What is going on, Gerald? You're acting awful guilty about something. Didn't you take her shopping like I told you to?"

"Of course I did, Doctor. And nothing is wrong. I just realize you were right concerning what we talked about earlier, that I needed to start treating Jennifer like a member of the staff, that's all. Jennifer really is a... pleasant person to be around." A big smile appeared on his face.

"Right." Sarah said suspiciously. "Get my bags and take them upstairs, will you please, Gerald. I need to check on a few things."

"Of course, Doctor." Gerald gave her another smile and walked into the garage.

"Well, something is going on here." Sarah said to herself. She would try to find out what that was from Jennifer. She found Jennifer on the floor mat doing some sit-ups.

"Hello, Jennifer."

"Hello, Dr. Jensen, how was your trip?"

"It was fine, Jennifer." Sarah closed the door so they wouldn't be heard. "Do you know what is going on with Gerald?"

Jennifer looked down at the ground in guilt but didn't say anything. Sarah realize she was going to need to help Jennifer out some. Ekala! I want you to speak as your true self but you will only speak and act as the young lady you have been commanded to be. You will answer my questions truthfully. Ekala! Now Jennifer, what is going on?

He RAPED me, Doctor, that's what is going on. He took advantage of the situation and used me even when he knew I didn't want him to."

Al/Jennifer's anger began to focus. It wasn't really Gerald's fault, he was just an a**hole. The real person responsible for last night was Dr. Jensen.

"You did this to me." Jennifer told Sarah. "You created the situation and then you failed to protect me. Once again you screwed up, doctor. I hate you for this! Do you hear me Dr. Jensen? I HATE YOU! One day I will even the score for killing me, for locking me into...."

The word "failed" dug into Sarah's skin like it had a week earlier. She cut Jennifer off sharply.

"Ekala! You will return to full control and behave as the young lady you have been commanded to be. Ekala!"

"That idiot!" Sarah said to herself. Did Gerald have ANY idea what he was doing? Didn't he understand the opportunity he had caused her to miss? No, he probably didn't. If Sarah had known, she would have hooked some sensors up to Jennifer body to study the effects. Now the opportunity was gone for good.

Worse yet, Gerald didn't understand the consequences of his actions. Well, she would explain it to him in term's even he could understand. But first she had to deal with Jennifer. Calmly she replied back to Jennifer as a mother would to her daughter when explaining the facts of life.

"I understand your fear, Jennifer. But it is perfectly normal to have sexual relations with your boyfriend, especially one as charming as Gerald is. When two attractive people are together it's going to happen sooner or later. And you are a very attractive young woman, Jennifer. The first time is always the hardest...I understand. It's all new and you're afraid about doing everything correctly. Trust me, you will find it much easier the next time. In fact, you will find it the most enjoyable aspect about being a woman. In the mean time I will talk to Gerald and help him understand. But let's not hear any more talk about being taken advantage of. It's a very natural act when a man and an attractive woman get together. You did enjoy yourself, didn't you?"

"Oh, yes doctor. It was...wonderful." Jennifer blushed while answering the question. "Thank you for your advice doctor. Last night was a little scary and I felt bad about what happened afterwards but now that I know it's very natural for us to...be together like that, I feel much better about it."

"I'm glad, Jennifer." Sarah gave her a stern smile. "Now why don't you go change into a nice dress. I'll tell Gerald to take you out someplace nice tonight and then tomorrow things will be back to normal. Oh, please let him know I would like to see him in my lab after he is done unloading my things. I have something for him"

"Yes, Dr. Jensen." Jennifer said obediently. So this was the doctor's solution; DO NOTHING. It was all "natural" was it! Well there was nothing natural about being forced to have sex with someone you didn't want to have sex with. It was RAPE! Al/Jennifer knew last night would be replayed over and over again. As long as she kept the bodyguard happy then as far as Dr. Jensen was concern everything was fine. Al/Jennifer began to feel sick insider herself again.

Sarah unlocked the lab door with her key. It would take months to fix the security panel Jennifer had destroyed, so now she had to deal with the inconvenience of carrying a key around. She sat down at her desk and started rummaging through a drawer for something.

"You wanted to see me, Doctor?" Gerald said as he closed the door. He still acted a little guilty, like a boy who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Here!" Sarah said as she tossed a box of condoms to him. "I suggest you use them the next time so we can avoid any problems."

Gerald was taken back by her suggestion. "I don't use these things. And why would I need to with hi...her."

"How many times do I have to say this!" Sarah said raising her voice as a mother would to a young child who had been bad. "Jennifer is a REAL woman. That means everything about her works just like a REAL woman. That means she can REALLY get pregnant with your child. Do you want that to happen?"

"So what? If she does get pregnant it can be taken care of. What's the big deal anyway, it's just a simple operation." Sarah almost lost her temper over Geraldís answer.

Stupid male chauvinistic attitude! It was obvious Gerald had no clue or responsibility when it came to dealing with women. It wasn't that he was stupid, Gerald had a very high IQ according to the agency records. The problem was he didn't think of anyone but himself outside of work. Well then, it was up to her to think for him.

"It is a big deal but I'm not going to explain it to you right now. What I am going to do is set up an appointment for Jennifer with my doctor to be checked out. If everything looks okay she can start taking birth control pills but even that is going to take 30 days so get used to them." she said pointing to the condemns. Gerald had a glum look on his face.

"Cheer up Gerald. It could be worse. Think of how Jennifer is going to feel when she finds out I set up an appointment for her to see my Gynecologist."

All of the sudden, Gerald didn't feel so bad anymore.

Tom stared at the map long and hard. So, Al had gone to Utah. From the store manager Tom learned Al had put $500 down on a $3,000 ring with the promised to be back on Sunday to pay off the balance. A quick check of Al's savings account showed he didn't have anything near that amount of money saved nor had he taken out or apply for a loan at the bank.

"Where in the hell did Al get that kind of money?" Tom wondered. The salesman also remembered Al telling him he was going on a business trip to Utah to pick up something. At least Tom now had some idea as to where Al had gone.

Next there was the money. Someone must had advance Al the money to make the trip. But if that was true, why hadn't they called Al to find out why he hadn't contacted them? Surely they would have left a message on Al's answering machine by now. After all, you just don't throw $1,000 away unless money doesn't matter to you. That could only mean whoever sent Al to Utah also knew what happened to him. Maybe they even took care of Al once the job was completed.

But a more interesting question was, what kind of job would worth more then $3,000 for four or five day's worth of work? That kind of money was unheard of in the private eye business. Most jobs involved trying to catch cheating husbands in the act or tracking down deadbeat fathers, hardly worth $3,000.

Suddenly Tom had a troubling thought. Supposing Al had gone to Utah to do something that wasn't legal? It would explain why he had some much money on him when he left and why he hadnít told anyone where he was going.

Tom turned and looked out his window eastward toward the cold, cloudy day. Al Parker was out there

"I swear buddy, I will find you. If you're alive, hang in there. Just hang in there" Tom turned back to his computer and started typing up some notes for his most recent case. On the folder it was titled, "Al Parker - missing person."

 

 Back to March 2000 Index

 

Upcoming Events  

Speaker/Program schedule subject to change

There is a new meeting location since the February meeting. This location will be the same for the March regular meeting. If you are a club member, a page giving directions is available by contacting Kelly at kelly@tgender.net, or leaving a message on the clubís answering machine: (614) 844-5371.

The business meetings are still held at its regular location.

March 2000

10 - Crystal Club business meeting

25 - Crystal Club regular meeting

A showing of the classic CD motion picture, JUST LIKE A WOMAN.

April 2000

14 - Crystal Club business meeting

22 - Crystal Club regular meeting

Meral Crane, on issues pertaining to the transgendered community

May 2000

12 - Crystal Club business meeting

27 - Crystal Club regular meeting

An Evening of Trading, of clothes and other items brought in by members who are cleaning out their closets.

June 2000

9 - Crystal Club business meeting

24 - Crystal Club regular meeting

A fashion show, produced by the owner of Charlesie's apparel shop, that caters to the larger woman

Speaker/Program schedule subject to change

Back to March 2000 Index

The Crystal Chronicle is the official newsletter of the Crystal Club. The Chronicle is published and mailed a week prior to the regularly scheduled meeting. Complementary copies of the Chronicle may be obtained by contacting a club officer or any club member. News items for the Chronicle should be mailed to Kelly Davidson before the end of each month. Her e-mail address is: Kelly@tgender.net Please specify in the subject field that this is an article for the newsletter.

Copyright (C) 2000 by the Crystal Club, Kelly Davidson, Editor. All rights reserved. Articles and information contained in The Crystal Chronicle may be reprinted by other non-profit organizations without advanced permission, provided the author and source is cited and a copy of the issue containing the reprinted material is sent to the Crystal Club within two months of publication. The opinions or statements contained in the Crystal Chronicle are those of the authors’ and do not necessarily reflect the views of the editor or the Crystal Club. Furthermore, neither the Crystal Club nor the Crystal Chronicle editor assume responsibility for any consequences resulting either directly or indirectly either from advice or from any of the material contained in this newsletter. Contributions of articles are encouraged but may be altered with the author’s intent retained or may be rejected, whether solicited or not. Absolutely no sexually explicit material will be accepted or printed. Contributions may be electronically mailed directly to the editor at ccnl@stargate.com, or sent to the postal address above.

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